Thank you for....

With Thanksgiving just around the corner and the smell of cinnamon and Christmas trees wafting just around the corner, it is time to make real efforts to reflect on the good things in life more regularly. So here's a few for today. I am grateful for a sister who is so different from me and yet so alike that she can laugh and get it just by looking at me or finish the next words in my sentence. We had an awesome weekend together this past one and it reminds me of how much I miss her. She isn't a quick drive away, nor is she even a quick plane ride away...and that can be so depressing at times to know she's so near and dear and yet so very far.
I am grateful for opportunities to learn and grow and recognize my mistakes (hopefully before it's too late). I had a rough year at work last year and couldn't quite reconcile my anger with some organizational decisions that I felt were unfair and egregious. It took a lot out of me and I remained stubborn in my position. Looking back with some 20/20 hindsight and some months of growth, I see how I contributed to make the situation even worse than it was. Thankfully I was able to keep my job and learn this over time without too much harm done. Now if only I could exercise 20/20 vision before having to look back.
I am grateful for love and all of the ways my partner shows me daily what love means. It's the little "I'm sorry"s and the stolen kisses in the grocery stores aisles. The compromise for one to be late to work and the other to be early so we can share one more hour together with a joint commute. A set of crossed legs across the couch and on the coffee table with warm pj's and an entertaining show on TV. For so many of these reasons, I am reminded of how strong the power of love is. And for that, and so much more, I am so very grateful.

One person can create change...

Tonight was the LGBT center's annual gala. I am an officer on the Board and look forward to this event as a way to bring our community together each year. The theme of tonight was honoring those who have done so much for the people in our community. It is inspiring to hear the stories of the three people who received rewards tonight. The straight couple, whose two children are both gay, became two of the biggest activists in NY state for Marriage Equality since they couldn't stand the injustice of seeing their children treated as second class citizens by our government. The first openly gay mayor of Ossining sharing his story and dedicating his success to his partner of 35 years. And the LOFT's famous volunteer, Al, who wears shorts every day of the year (and yes it does get mighty cold in NYC), has dedicated 17 years of weekly service to our community center by answering calls on our Helpline and organizing countless groups and activities. These individuals inspire me and make me realize that one person really can create change and that change can ripple through the world sparking other good deeds in their fellow citizens. The time is now to step up to the challenge and support the LGBT community and our efforts to be fully recognized as equal citizens in this great (though often too conservative) nation.

A reminder this week that life can change in a NY minute

Outside my window…. it’s dark (well as dark as it can be living in a major city with tons of light pollution). It was a gorgeous day and tonight is cool and clear.
I am thinking… about the tragedy of learning a co-worker whom I just saw Monday had a stroke later that night and is still in a coma. Life can change in a NY minute.
I am thankful for… knowing that so many people in my life love me...truly love me for what I am -- the good and the bad.
From the kitchen…. not much tonight--it was mexican takeout for me. Maybe icecream later.
I am wearing… pink scottie dog pj pants, a long white sleeve shirt and gray slippers. It is the first night I've worn slippers. Winter must be close, my feet are always freezing lately.
I am reading…Jodi Picoult's, Handle with Care. Love it!
I am hoping… that Friday is warmer than forecasted or it'll be a cold day walking around Manhattan.
Around the house… it is just me tonight. Yankees and Phillies game 6 in the background. Can the Yankees pull it off?! A single desk lamp is on over my computer...it's pretty dark in here otherwise.
One of my favorite things… is to travel and see the world and experience new and interesting things. It is all the more a favorite since I met BJ two years ago -- we travel well together and luckily she loves it as much as I do.
A few plans for the rest of the week…. tomorrow is the big launch of the year. Our annual employee engagement survey. Then our gala for The LOFT. The family arrives Friday for a three day weekend in the city. Dinner on Friday with 8 of my favorite people :-) YAY!

A blog a day for a month...can I keep momentum?

I have seen on other blogs the challenge to post a blog a day for a month. I have not kept momentum *at all* with this blogging thing. I love to read others but I am not very good about writing my own. So I am going to start simple and with an activity I was recently encouraged to start -- writing down three things a day you encountered and are thankful for. Here's mine for today...
1) Waking up next to my girlfriend, reaching over and feeling her next to me, and kissing her gently on the way out the door while she still sleeps. We don't live together so each morning that we start in this way is a blessing.
2) Catching up on a conversation with a friend from way back, I mean way back, like elementary school years. We loose touch at times and go for months at a time without any communication but whether a surprise call at 1am or conversation over crostinis and martinis, we can always manage to pick up just where we left off.
3) Great authors that continue to churn out books I can't wait to get my hands on...Jodi Picoult is one of those great authors for me and I got my hands on Handle With Care today. I wish with some books that my commute were longer.

Balance - Will 2009 be the year that I finally find it?

2008 was not a year with balance in my life. And it ended in such a way that my body was physically resisting the lack of balance in recent weeks, well actually months. As has happened before, usually in college at the end of the semester after being burned out with weeks of papers and finals, I got very sick on the first day when relaxation and vacation were supposed to begin. I arrived home to my parents' on Christmas Eve with worries about "fitting it all in" during a 4 day holiday visit. Within hours it became obvious, there would be nothing to fit into my schedule over the long weekend except when to awake for a cup of tea, more medicine, and maybe some chicken soup. I had started 2008 in a hurried, rushed way with travels and work and a list of must do's. Work transitions, economic difficulties, and a series of events (e.g. being robbed in February, extensive travel delays three times in two weeks...) made 2008 seem like a year that was just working against me at every step. Toasting the new year with friends in a calm, fulfilling gathering on December 31st was a perfect way to say goodbye to a year I was anxious to be done with.
As I start 2009, I am forced to confront a constant challenge in my life--finding balance. I have a difficult time saying NO. I consistently put others before myself. I defer sleep for another hour of getting things done on a daily basis. I struggle to achieve balance and define what it means for me in my life. Two recent conversations with friends about the topic show me that this isn't a problem I struggle alone with. We each have our journey towards achieving balance and the precarious relationship to keeping it in your life. I commit to taking steps towards balance and making 2009 a healthier year--in mind and body--for me. Little steps lead to bigger changes...

Taking time to breath the fresh, crisp, autumn air

Weeks like this make me very grateful for the permanent people and values in my life. The turmoil in the markets, the fear in the faces of white collar workers, the buzz around the halls of mergers and layoffs. It gets to you. Or least it gets to me. Living in NYC and being so close to the heart of it all is at times sobering and at other times just desensitizing. I admit I get sucked into checking cnn.com and nytimes.com at least 100 times a day. And yet the news is such that there is nothing I can really do anyway so why continue to read depressing, fear driven headline hour after hour?

Last night I sat in Bryant Park with a friend who I miss so much. We have been through some bad points in each of our lives together and grown closer through it all. I think we spoke at least once a day, four years ago, and now we are checking our calendars to find time for a 30 minute phone conversation to catch up. Sometimes life seems to get in the way of living. Though seemingly not frequent enough, evenings like last night where we watched the sun set over the park and we conversed, advised, laughed, and shared until there was little less than a few street lamps to guide us out of the park was one of the better nights I can remember in awhile. A night of connecting and restoring the spirit and knowing what it means to truly have a friend.

Tonight I facilitated the women's group at the community center. Some nights it can feel more like a burden than a help when you literally sit in silence as the group stares at one another in a loss for words. This evening, two women from Gilda's Club came to our group to share information about GC and the services they offer. First I must say - WOW - the list of services available is beyond impressive and the community that they bring to those who need it the most is such an admirable mission. Beyond the sheer importance of such an organization in the community, the reality of cancer is sobering. To have known many who lost their lives to the disease and to be privileged to know a few who are survivors, it is experiences like these past two nights that bring life to a more grounded position.

In the end, does it matter where I work or how many hours I put in each day? In the end will it matter whether the bed was made everyday before I dash off to work? In the end does anyone notice whether the Board agenda had a typo? No. In reality, and in the end, it is moments like a cherished conversation with a dear friend and a community you know you can feel at home in that will be the lasting impression on your world.

Family

I spent the weekend with the 'rents. It was a terrific weekend. Nothing special to note but one of those weekends that gets me thinking on the long drive home about how lucky I am. With the whirlwind of life cycling around--there is always something or many somethings going on in my world--there is always the constant of family. I am defined in so many ways by my family and our relationships. This weekend I spent time with Mom doing what we do best--shopping. Always looking for a bargain. It gives us time to talk and explore and just enjoy some hours together. And today, my Dad was a huge help to me. We jointly washed my car and waxed it. Every little detail of it. I was reminded again of the little things in life. I guess they aren't really that little but in the scheme of things they can be so easily overlooked. Having two parents still married, still in love, still alive and healthy, and still so active in my life is something I cannot even capture with words. I am so blessed and so lucky to have the greatest family in the world.